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photography, Kitti, art, me, kink

Kitti, the Unstoppable Hex Machine

...and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries...

Influence
photography, Kitti, art, me, kink
grittikitti
I may be leaving Brighton.

After all this bollocks with housemates - and my darling Pip leaving, the only thing really tying me to this place is Stevie, and the fact that I belong.

Mum called me yesterday, right while I was in the middle of moving Pippi into my flat so I can store the stuff she can't carry on the train (emotional situation already, needless to say - I hope) and she called me to tell me she still can't swallow anything more than liquid, and has lost 2 stone in as many weeks. Also, her kidneys are not working well and she will have to have dialysis. I tried so hard to be stong in front of Pip and James, I knew they were already distraught, but I couldn't help but cry. I totally collapsed for about 5 minutes straight.

I'm considering moving back home and living with mum to help her. The earliest I could realistically and financially do this would be the end of August - nearly two months from now. Who knows what could happen to her in 2 months...
I'll miss my beautiful, mad city... but I can't bear the thought of being here and getting a phone call that she's dead. I don't think I could stand knowing I could have helped her and given her life at least a little better quality, but I just stayed away.

On top of the above, I've becoming totally disinterested with the pub and club scene here. Everything is a copy of a transfer of a cliche; people are just full of politics and complications and after nearly six years of it, I'm just tired. Most of my friends are either dead or have moved away, or may as well be dead... some are dead to me. My stupid job isn't keeping me here, I know that.

If I can't hack it up there, I'll come back. If I leave my job amiably then they will take me back if there are positions open when I return. If not, then I can find something else. Sometimes I miss my calm little town, with it's long, winding roads and it's green parks and fields... perhaps it would be best to earth my roots for a while.

Kit. xx