Log in

No account? Create an account
photography, Kitti, art, me, kink

Kitti, the Unstoppable Hex Machine

...and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries...

Pasty Blasty
photography, Kitti, art, me, kink

Adrian's on Facebook now. Guess that whole rant about not feeding the governments hold on him kinda went out the window, ey?

It's weird - 'cause I've been thinking about him a lot lately, not in the way that I miss being with him (don't think I'd ever put myself through that again) or even that I feel sad for the love hat was "lost". I just miss talking to him and Fayth, and being friends. Unfortunately I am also very aware that Adrian only has 2 settings - Love, and Hate. If you're not loved by him then you're doomed to be hated, and after everything that happened between us, and the fucking bizarre way it ended (contact just stopped, and I stopped trying) I always thought he just wanted to forget everything about his Brighton life. Even Bob, who he always said was his best friend, he'd stopped talking to, and now all of a sudden, here he is! Bing! Like we should all rejoice or something cause he's magically resurfaced.

I do miss them - a fucking lot, actually. They were awesome, thier kids were awesome, and I would actually have been proud to see them tie the knot. Perhaps they didn't want me there anyway, perhaps it was all lies about how much they would always love me, who fucking knows?

Yes, I was angry with them. Very fucking angry. But anger isn't infinate, everybody gets over it eventually. Maybe it just boiled down to, he realised that I was more in control of myself than he ever was of me. Fuck, I had more self control than he had over himself even.

So, I wonder if this is how it's going to be... is he going to just waltz back in to our lives and expect us to be all smiles and forgiveness? Its Bob I worry about - he's so fucking brilliantly lovely that he's bound to just let him back in to try and keep a stranglehold on the alt scene again. Although... perhaps in a strange way I've taken his place here, if he returns then he will be the outsider.

Perhaps that's not his plan at all - maybe he's only on FB because he misses Bob and just wants to see how he's doing. I don't fucking know.

Weird. Bloody bloody weird.