Log in

No account? Create an account
photography, Kitti, art, me, kink

Kitti, the Unstoppable Hex Machine

...and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries...

Epic Brain Fail
Ever been so bored you actually want to claw your skin off??

I'm also rather sick. At least... my body is.

I seem to have turned a little corner, in that I am now craving pain again in a big way. I feel like the little sub that could, finally got up the hill (to the dungeon). The incredibly annoying thing is that I still don't have the trust issue thingy sorted yet so, although there is no lack of people who want to tear me apart at clubs... I just can't let them.

Currently, there are about 3 people whom I would trust enough to Dom me properly.. and 2 of them don't want to. Hoping I can also clear this little trust hurdle... or meet someone who I can see more often than is possible with my current main interest.

Of course... if I am indeed a sub reborn, surely I could get on my little feline knees and beg for a harder play when I do happen to see my current trustee Dom... Although I fear that actually asking for something that I want is probably a little insubordinate and therefore I probably won't get it.

I really would like someone to go at me hard though... just restrain me and ignore everything I say. It needs to be the right person though. They need to have the right approach so I don't get too angry and the whole thing becomes a giant repeat of the last time I surrendered myself to someone harsh (which ended incredibly badly and led to my entire fear of submissiveness, whilst still craving it, and making a hero out of my first Master, who is long gone and never ever coming back).

So... currently a mixture of stress, longing, fear, state of "meh", and really horny...

Sometimes I wish I could just opt for the lobotomy. Miserable bitch, aren't I?